CHUFFY

Mon, 21 Mar 2005 01:05:44 GMT

hey here is my new journal aj-25

Job Opportunities

Wed, 16 Feb 2005 18:38:27 GMT

HEY YA'LL
SO, I HAVE A JOB LINED UP IN FLORIDA. I WOULD BE WORKING FOR A YOUTH ALTERNATIVES CENTER, IN CLEARWATER,FL. I WOULD BE WORKING 5 DAYS A WEEK THEN 2 DAYS OFF, WITH PTO! BANK! HOWEVER, I HAVE AN AMAZING GIRLFRIEND, AND I'M FINDING IT HARD TO WANT TO LEAVE. SHE WANTS TO GET A PLACE TOGETHER AND GET STARTED WITH US AND I'VE WANTED THAT FOR SO LONG! FINALLY IT'S RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF ME AND I'M GOIN TO LEAVE? CRAZY! NOT VERY OFTEN DO U GET A GIRL LIKE THIS. ONE THAT WANTS TO TAKE CARE OF U, AND MAKE U HAPPY. HER AND I GET ALONG SO WELL! IT'S CRAZY! HONESTLY, 2 WHOEVER READS THIS WHAT WOULD U DO. I'M LOST AND I NEED SOME OUTSIDE ADVICE. PLEASE....I'M LOST.

AJ

GONE 4 SO LONG

Wed, 09 Feb 2005 21:04:03 GMT

YEAH IT'S BEEN SOMETIME....NOT MUCH GOIN ON RIGHT NOW, BUT LATER. SO, UMM YA'LL I PUT MY 2 WEEKS IN AT MY WORK. LAST DAY IS ON THE 18TH. I'M OUT OF HERE ON THE 28TH OF THIS MONTH. AWESOME! IT JUST SUCKS CUZ I'M GOIN TO MISS MY GIRL, A TON. I'M JUST SICK OF PUTTIN THEM FIRST, AND IN THE END GETTING SHIT ON. I PUT THEM FIRST THE LAST FIVE TIMES AND LOOK WHERE THAT GOT ME. I JUST FEEL IF WE LOVE ONE ANOTHER AS MUCH AS WE SAY WE DO THEN WE'LL FIND AWAY. WELL, I KNOW IT IS GOIN TO BE HARD BUT I THINK WE WILL GET THROUGH. MY LOVE 4 HER IS STRONG, SO IT IS ALL ON HER.

AJ

Sat, 01 Jan 2005 02:35:42 GMT

Because Of You

I will not make
The same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break
The way you did, you fell so hard
I’ve learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you I am afraid

I lose my way
And it’s not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that’s weakness in your eyes
I’m forced to fake
A smile, a laugh, every day of my life
My heart can’t possibly break
When it wasn’t even whole to start with

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
Because of you
Because of you I am afraid

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt

Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don’t know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I’m ashamed of my life because it’s empty
Because of you I am afraid

Because of you

drunk....yes yes i am!

Thu, 09 Dec 2004 21:00:55 GMT

HEY YA'LL SORRY I HAVE NOT HAD ANYTIME TO UPDATE. THINGS R GOIN GREAT RIGHT NOW. I HAVE SO MUCH FUN, HANGIN OUT WITH JEN. SHE IS A SUPER SWEET GIRL, SHE WOULD BE AN AMAZING GIRLFRIEND, BUT LORD KNOWS I DON'T NEED THAT RIGHT NOW. I'M FINALLY DOIN ALRIGHT ALONE. SHE IS EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER WANTED IN A GIRL, BUT IT'S JUST MY LUCK I'M 2 AFRAID TO LET MYSELF GO. IT'S CRAZY HOW PAST RELATIONSHIPS AFFECT U, NOT SAYIN THAT IN A BAD WAY. JULIE HELPED ME IN BEING RESPONSIBLE, JAC HELPED ME IN BEING ABLE 2 PUT MYSELF IN OTHERS SHOES, ANITA SHOWED ME HOW 2 FEEL FOR OTHERS, AND LASTLY JACOB HELPED ME 2 BE STRONG. ALL THESE GIRL HELPED ME IN GROWING UP. IT SUCKS THAT THINGS R THE WAY THEY R, BUT I GUESS THERE IS A REASON FOR EVERYTHING. I TRULY WISH THAT ONE DAY WE CAN ALL BE COOL, ONLY TIME WILL TELL, I GUESS. WELL, I'M JUST WANTING 2 MAKE PEACE WITH EVERYONE BEFORE I GO. SO, I GUESS THIS IS MY APOLOGY, FOR ALL THAT I'VE HURT.

AJ

UNCLE RICK

Sat, 04 Dec 2004 04:38:33 GMT

SO, MY UNCLE IS SO PUMPED FOR ME 2 COME DOWN 2 FLORIDA. I'M JUST SAD THAT I HAVE TO LEAVE SOME GREAT FRIENDS BEHIND AND MY KITTY. OH, I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT LEAKY AND DUCKY, I'LL MISS THEM 2. SO, YEAH ON THE 18TH I'M PARTING WITH SOME CLOSE FRIENDS, WHICH SHOULD BE FUN. I DO BELEIVE IT'S GOIN TO BE ONE OF THOSE GOIN AWAY/B-DAY PARTY. ALL I KNOW IS THAT I'M GOIN TO BE LIKE, "AJ THE TANK" LOL! YEAH, UMM.....I'M GOIN 2 BE A BEER BONGING, POT SMOKIN,KEG STAND HAVIN "CRAZY GIRL!" OH, I'M LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME. U KNOW WHAT? I'VE COME TO TERMS BEING CRAZY. I'M OK WITH IT NOW. GOD, I'M GLAD I GOT THAT OFF MY CHEST....IT'S LIKE BEING ABLE TO SAY YOUR A BIG FLAMING DYKE FOR THE 1ST TIME. IT'S ALMOST LIKE A WEIGHT HAS BEEN LIFTED FROM MY SHOULDERS. "HI...MY NAME IS ANGIE/AJ/ANGELA/ANGIE JO, AND I'M .......UMMMM....CRAZY." "OK I'M OUT, I SAID IT!" U KNOW I LOVE YA'LL STILL!

AJ

Sun, 28 Nov 2004 02:14:15 GMT

DON'T BE SHADY LINDZ, FOR REAL. DON'T LIE! U CAME AFTER ME JUST ENOUGH TO KEEP ME AT YOUR FINGERTIPS. ONCE I TALKED TO U ABOUT BEING SHADY AND HOW U SHOULD BE FAITHFUL TO YOUR GIRL, I THOUGHT THINGS COULD BE COOL. BUT I GUESS NOT. U HAD TO GO AND SWITCH IT UP, AND LIE ABOUT SHIT. SO, YOUR ASS WAS COVERED.EVEN TO YOUR GIRL. THAT'S FUCKING SAD U CAN'T EVEN BE HONEST, JUST LIKE ANITA. P.S. (JUST SO U KNOW)ANITA THINKS YOUR SHADY AS HELL TOO! I HATE TO BUST U OUT GIRL BUT I HEARD U TALK SHIT! OH,HEY...HERE IS AN IDEA Y DON'T ANITA AND YOURSELF HOOK UP! HEHE! THAT WAS FUNNY HAS HELL. GOD, I'M FUCKIN "CRAZY" FUNNY! ANOTHER THING I'M WONDERING ABOUT IS, THOSE LIES THAT U TELL..DON'T THEY EAT AWAY AT U? REALLY? ALL I EVER WANTED WAS TO BE COOL, BUT U LIKE TO TALK SHIT AND MAKE ME LOOK SHADY,WHAT AM I TO DO? SIT AROUND AND CRY ABOUT ALL THE SHIT THAT IS BEING SAID ABOUT ME? FUCK THAT! I'M DONE BEIN A LIL' BITCH. THAT'S ONE THING THAT I LEARNED FROM U. IS 2 SICK UP FOR MYSELF! EVERYTHING WAS COOL I THOUGHT BEFORE I HEARD PEOPLE TALKIN SHIT. I'M DONE TRYING TO BE COOL PEOPLE THAT LIE AND R 2 FACED! OH, AND IF U EVER DO ANYTHING TO JEN, I'LL FIND U AND ROCK YOUR FUCKING FACE. TRUST ME I HAVE SO MUCH ANGER, HURT AND DISAPPOINTMENT INSIDE THAT I'M FEELIN LIKE I'M FUCKIN SUPERMAN AND I'LL FUCK YOUR ASS UP! TEEHE! AND RAE REMEMBER WHEN U GOT MAD CUZ LINDZ WANTED A "MASSAGE"...YEAH GEE I WONDER Y? GIRL, U NEED TO OPEN UP THOSE EYE. I HAVE NO BEEF WITH U RAE REALLY, I KNOW U WAN TO BELEIVE YOUR GIRL. BUT JUST STEP BACK 4REAL AND LOOK AT THINGS. ALL THE TIMES U COULDN'T FIND YOUR GIRL. I HAVE NO REASON TO LIE, Y WOULD I MAKE ALL THIS SHIT UP REALLY?I'M NOT GOIN TO LIE ABOUT HOOKING UP WITH LINDZ, I ATE HER OUT IN MY DAD'S TRUCK. RECEIVED KISS FROM HER AND MANY VOICE MAILS, BEFORE THAT. I'M SICK OF LYING FOR OTHER PEOPLE. I SAID WHAT I HAD TO SAY AND I'M DONE WITH ALL THIS SHIT. I HOPE RAE U'LL C SOMEDAY. U ALL CAN POST SHIT AND NOT BELEIVE ME, IT'S NOT LIKE U ALL EVER DID ANYWAYS. SO WHO FUCKING CARES!
I'M DONE WITH THE DRAMA
AJ
P.S. JUST SO U KNOW
I HAVE THE VOICE MAILS OF U ASWELL, AND A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE HEARD THEM 2. ONLY BECAUSE I HEARD U LIKE 2 SHARE YOURS.

Wed, 24 Nov 2004 06:45:52 GMT

yeah so i'm drunk as hell right now! hehe! and yes i'm with jen. she is so cool. i'm feelin her, but i also am afraid to get with anyone. so, i'm single as hell. haha, this is jen now... and yeah angie is single as hell, so all of you who want her - don't worry... anywho, i am the only one here who is sober right now. who does that?? yeah, i do. i think my sister is hitting on aj right now too. i always knew she was gay. yeah whatever. so, angie is moving in february if anyone wanted to know. angie would like it if everyone called her aj, so we should all do that. can't wait till wednesday!!! who wants to make out?? p.s. i'm afraid too. this is aj now - i'm am too grrrrrrl! hehe i lub your family grrrrl!

aj

Fri, 19 Nov 2004 18:42:43 GMT

SO, YEAH I SMELL LIKE DIRTY CAT FROM JENS....UMMM...WELL...CAT....YUCK! BUT IT'S OK SHE IS WASHIN MY CLOTHES. HEY DID I EVER TELL YA'LL I LOVE ORANGE SODA! LOL....YUPPER, I'M DRINKIN ME SOME RIGHT NOW! YUMMIE. YEAH, I KNOW I HAVE SHITTY LIVE JOURNALS. I'M WORKIN ON IT WA, I'LL TRY HARDER. I'M GOIN TO THE GAME TONIGHT AND ALSO TO RUMORS. SOUNDS LIKE A WHOLE LOT OF FUN. ANYWAYS I'M SICK OF TYPIN, SO I'M OUT. SORRY BABYGIRL.
AJ

Tue, 16 Nov 2004 19:27:58 GMT

OK I'M OFF 2 WORK, IT'S GOIN TO BE GREAT! CAN'T WAIT. HOWEVER I HAVE TOMORROW OFF, AND I'M TALKING WITH MY LAWYER,SHOULD BE GOOD. HEHE, ALRIGHT I'M OFF OK BYE
AJ

Sun, 14 Nov 2004 08:00:30 GMT

I LOVE BEIN SINGLE! THAT IS ALL I HAVE TO SAY!

AJ

PS, I LOVE A CAPS!

Thu, 11 Nov 2004 17:53:54 GMT

Hey
(I want a Soldier!)
The way you got it, I’m the hottest around
They’ll know it when they see you rollin’ impala’s around
(I got a Soldier!)
Wit the top down feeling the sounds
Quakin’ and vibratin’ your thighs ridin’ harder than guys
Wit the chrome wheels at the bottom, white leather inside
When them lames be spittin’ at you tell ‘em don’t even try it
To shot it wit Chelle and kick it wit Kelly or holla at B
Ya, gotta be g’s you way outta your league
Please!

First Verse: Kelly (DC)

We like dem boys that be in them lac's leanin'{Leanin'}
Open their mouth their grill gleamin'{Gleamin'}
Candy paint, keep that whip clean and {Clean and}
(They always be talkin that country slang, we like)
They keep that beat that be in the back beatin'{Beatin'}
Eyes be so low from there chief {chief and}
I love how he keep my body screamin' {Screamin'}
A rude boy that's good to me, wit street credibility

Hook: DC
If his status ain't hood
I ain't checkin' for him
Betta be street if he lookin' at me
I need a soldier
That ain't scared to stand up for me
Known to carry big things
If you know what I mean
If his status ain't hood
I ain't checkin' for him
Betta be street if he looking at me
I need a soldier
That ain't scared to stand up for me
Gotta know to get dough
And he betta be street

Second Verse: Beyonce (DC)
We like dem boys up top from the BK {BK}
Know how to flip that money three ways {Three ways}
Always ridin' big on the freeway {Freeway}
(Wit that east coast slang that us country girls we like)
Low cut caesars wit the deep waves {deep waves}
So quick to snatch up your Beyonce {Beyonce}
Always comin down poppin our way {Our way}
(Tellin us that country girls the kinda girl they like)

Hook: DC
If his status ain't hood
I ain't checkin' for him
Betta be street if he lookin' at me
I need a soldier
That ain't scared to stand up for me
Known to carry big things
If you know what I mean
If his status ain't hood
I ain't checkin' for him
Betta be street if he looking at me
I need a soldier
That ain't scared to stand up for me
Gotta know to get dough
And he betta be street

Bridge: Beyonce (DC):
I know some soldiers in here (Where they at, where they at)
They wanna take care of me (Where they at)
I know some soldiers in here (Where they at, where they at)
Don't mind takin one for me (Where they at)
I know some soldiers in here (Where they at, where they at)
They wanna spend that on me (Where they at)
I know some soldiers in here (Where they at, where they at)
Wouldn't mind puttin that on me (Where they at)

2nd Rap: Lil Wayne
Hey, see cash money is a army
I’m walkin’ wit purple hearts on me
You talkin’ to the sargeant
Body marked up like the subway in harlem
Call him, weezy f baby, please say the baby
If you don’t see me on the block I ain’t tryna hide
I blend in wit the hood, i’m camouflage
Bandana tied, so mommy join my troop
Now every time she hear my name she so ..umf…

Verse 3: Michelle (DC)
I like dem boys over there they lookin’ strong tonight {Strong tonight}
Just might give one the phone tonight {Phone tonight}
Homey in the dickies in my zone tonight {Zone tonight}
He don’t know it might be on tonight {On tonight}
Ooh he lookin’ good and he talkin’ right {Talkin’ right}
He the type that might change my life {Change my life}
Everytime he look at me my girls be like {Girls be like}
(That one may be the one tonight)

Hook: DC
If his status ain't hood
I ain't checkin' for him
Betta be street if he lookin' at me
I need a soldier
That ain't scared to stand up for me
Known to carry big things
If you know what I mean
If his status ain't hood
I ain't checkin' for him
Betta be street if he looking at me
I need a soldier
That ain't scared to stand up for me
Gotta know to get dough
And he betta be street

Bridge: Beyonce (DC):
I know some soldiers in here (Where they at, where they at)
They wanna take care of me (Where they at)
I know some soldiers in here (Where they at, where they at)
Wouldn't mind puttin that on me (Where they at)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you find some error in Soldier Lyrics,
would you please submit your corrections to me? Thank You.
Thanks to CrabbyMermaid@gmail.com for submitting the lyrics.

enjoy

Thu, 11 Nov 2004 17:45:23 GMT

YEAH, SO I'M AT JACKIE'S HOUSE.(U KNOW U LOVE IT WHEN I CALL U THAT GRRRL!)I LIKE U, BUT YOUR CRAZY....LOL! LOOKIN FOR JOB'S ONLINE.FUN STUFF! I HAVE TO WORK TODAY AT 3 WHICH SHOULD BE JUST SUPER. I MIGHT GO OUT, NOT SURE YET. WELP, I HAVE GOT TO GO. BUH-BYE

AJ

movin on

Fri, 05 Nov 2004 20:05:47 GMT

YEAH SO I'M OFF 2 FLORIDA IN LIKE 2 MONTHS FOR SURE! CAN'T WAIT, MY AUNT IS GOIN TO LET ME LIVE WITH HER. I SHOULD BE OUT OF HERE IN LIKE 2 MONTHS. THE ONLY SUCKY PART IS THAT I'M GOIN TO MISS MY MOM, AND JO-JO. HOWEVER I KNOW I NEED TO DO THIS. OH, YEAH I HAVE A DATE TONIGHT! HEHE! OH, YEAH YA'LL PARTY AT MY HOUSE ON SAT. EVERYONE CAN COME.

CRAZY

Thu, 21 Oct 2004 17:12:52 GMT

GOT CALLED INTO WORK YESTERDAY....GOOD TIMES! I'M WORKIN AGAIN TODAY...FUNFUN! THEN I'M GOIN HOME.OH, I HAD A GOOD DREAM ABOUT SOMEONE...HEHE. YEAH, IT WAS ABOUT AN EX! IT WAS NOT LINDSEY,JAC, OR JU...LOL. YEAH IT WAS ABOUT U ANITA...LOL. CRAZY! LETS JUST SAY IT PUT ME IN A GOOD MOOD! WINK, WINK! ALRIGHT, I HAVE TO GO. TALK TO U ALL SOMEDAY!

AJ

it's been awhile

Fri, 15 Oct 2004 12:15:43 GMT

i've been workin so dang much it's crazy! i like it though.....i think i'm goin to go to 3rd at spectrum or quit. one of the 2, just cuz they can't seem to work around my new schedule. i love my new job! i work at rogers plaza! fun, fun! welp, i have to go. oh, i met a cutie....hehe. that has been fun too! it's nice to date again. welp, to be in the mood to date. nothing to crazy though, i don't need that right now...u know? alright i have to go, talk to ya'll later
aj

Fri, 15 Oct 2004 12:10:57 GMT

Sure I think about you now and then
but it's been a long, long time
I've got a good life now, I've moved on
So when you cross my mind

chorus:
I try not to think about what might have been
'cause that was then and we have taken diff'rent roads
We can't go back again there's no use giving in
And there's no way to know
What might have been

We could sit and talk about this all night long
And wonder why we didn't last
Yes, they might be the best days we will ever know
But we'll have to leave them in the past.

chorus:

That same old look in your eyes
it's a beautiful night
I'm so tempted to stay
But too much time has gone by
We should just say good-bye
and turn and walk away

chorus:

No, we'll never know
what might have been

just for u...lol

Mon, 11 Oct 2004 21:54:41 GMT

It seemed to be like the perfect thing for you and me

It's so ironic you're what I had pictured you to be

But there are facts in our lives we can never change

Just tell me that you understand and feel the same

This perfect romance that I've created in my mind

I'd live a thousand lives each one with you right by my side

But yet we find ourselves in a less than perfect circumstance

And so it seems like we'll never have the chance

1 - Ain't it funny how some feelings you just can't deny

And you can't move on even though you try

Ain't it strange when you're feeling things you shouldn't feel

Oh I wish this could be real

Ain't it funny how a moment could just change your life

And you don't want to face what's wrong or right

Ain't it strange how fate can play a part

In the story of your heart

Sometimes I think that a true love can never be

I just believe that somehow it wasn't meant to me

Life can be cruel in a way that I can't explain

And I don't think that I could face it all again

I barely know you but somehow I know what you're about

A deeper love I've found in you, and I no longer doubt

You've touched my heart and it altered every plan I've made

And now I feel that I don't have to be afraid

Repeat 1

I locked away my heart

But you just set it free

Emotions I felt held me back from what my life should be

I pushed you far away

And yet you stayed with me

I guess this means

That you and me were meant to be

Repeat 1 till end

what i really meant to say

Mon, 11 Oct 2004 18:02:52 GMT

It took my by surprise
When I saw you standing there
Close enough to touch
Breathing the same air
You asked me how Id been
I guess thats when I smiled
And said, just fine.
Oh but baby I was lying

What I really meant to say
Is Im dying here inside
And I miss you more each day
Theres not a night I havent cried
And baby heres the truth
Im still in love with you
Thats what I really meant to say

And as you walked away
The echo of my words
Cut just like a knife
Cut so deep it hurt
I held back the tears
Held on to my pride
And watched you go
I wonder if youll ever know

What I really meant to say
Is Im dying here inside
And I miss you more each day
Theres not a night I havent cried
And baby heres the truth
Im still in love with you

What I really meant to say
Is Im really not that strong
No matter how I try
Im still holding on
And heres the honest truth
Im still in love with you, yeah
Thats what I really meant to say

long time

Mon, 11 Oct 2004 17:55:46 GMT

HEY YA'LL! I HAVE GREAT NEWS, I HAVE ANOTHER JOB! YUPPER, I'M GOIN TO BE WORKIN SECURITY HEHE! SO BE AFRAID VERY AFRAID....LOL. ANYWHO, THINGS R GOIN SO WELL FOR ME RIGHT NOW! BOUT TIME! ALRIGHT THAT IS ALL I HAVE TO SAY SO..BUH-BYE
AJ

not a good start

Sat, 02 Oct 2004 15:12:19 GMT

today has not been a good day for me.....i don't know why maybe it because i can't sleep. i think it's cuz i miss bein held really tight at night and now it's just muff and i. my mom said she would give me some sleepin pills tonight, so hopefully! i'm so excited to sleep. it is goin to be great. god i loves it! anyways i have to go
aj

got's to loves it..hehe

Fri, 01 Oct 2004 10:27:10 GMT

"You'll Think Of Me"

I woke up early this morning around 4am
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been tryin' my best to get along
But that's OK
There's nothing left to say, but

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me

I went out driving trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been
What we should have been
So

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
Don't worry, I'll be fine
I'm gonna be alright
While you're sleeping with your pride
Wishing I could hold you tight
I'll be over you
And on with my life

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and all your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we got nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me, yeah

And you're gonna think of me
Oh someday baby, someday

CAN U SAY PIMP?

Fri, 01 Oct 2004 10:22:34 GMT

SO, I'M A PIMP...LOL...OK! UMM...I'M SINGLE AN LOVES IT! I HAD ALMOST FORGOT..ODD? NO, I THINK I NEEDED LINDZ TO DROP ME ON MY FACE, THAT ALWAYS FEELS GOOD....LOL! YUPPER, STILL WASTED! I THINK SHE WAS THE ANGEL I ASKED FOR TO GET OVER ANITA. SHE PICKED MY FAT ASS OFF THE DIRTY GROUND, JUST WHEN I NEEDED IT. I KNOW SHE HURT ME TOO, BUT NOT AS BAD AS U KNOW WHO....SHE MADE ME FEEL AGAIN IT WAS NICE. SHE IS A SWEET GIRL AND I'M HAPPY SHE HAS FOUND A GIRL. I HAVE LEARNED A TON FROM THE PAST 2 RELATIONSHIPS,WOULD U LIKE ME TO ENLIGHTEN U? WELL I'M GOIN TO ANYWAYS......WHEN U THINK U SEE THAT GIRL THAT U THINK U HAVE TO HAVE AND U START TO GET THAT LOVE IN FEELIN, RUN LIKE HELL! THAT IS MY ADVICE...LOL THAT IS WHAT I HAVE LEARNED...HAHA....GOD I LOVES IT! ALRIGHT I HAVE TO TRY AND WORK SO YA'LL HAVE A SUPER DAY!I KNOW I WILL...HEHE!

The Dance

Sat, 25 Sep 2004 13:57:46 GMT

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I the king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance

i'm a cry baby! god shoot me!

Wed, 22 Sep 2004 14:17:00 GMT

wasted, drunk dialed to everyone under the sun! god, i'm a baby. i think i talked to 3 people last night. i don't really remember what the hell i said or didn't say. but to all those who listened thank u soooooo much! u girls where there when i needed u, it means a lot to me. anita, jac and jj, if i forgot anybody i'm sorry. i woke up this morning(at 5) odd? i had the coco in my left hand and my ducky in the right arm, on the floor...ha wasted! went to the bathroom to puke, then printed off my private journal from home, and was out the door!decided to stop at the store for a rose,then off to allendale. the time while drivin, there were no tunes....which is crazy cuz i can't ever drive with out my tunes. crazy i tell ya, completely insane. the omni sailed one last time to take me to my lady. i really don't think that she would make another trip like that again. the omni was cookin! haha! loves it! the omni loves me and i loves her! anyways, back to my story. standin at her door,with a single rose in hand, head hung, smellin of the night before, nothing to loose. not anything, faith was no more, pride was swept away, and my heart was in her hands. she quickly open door, just to walk away. i step through the door and head to her room. not soon after she enters and asked me what i was doin there. i told her this my sorry attempt to say i'm apologize. i just had to c u,i woke up and the first thing i wanted to do was puke then come to u.(smiles)i tried to be stubborn, but this was a desire i couldn't control. so, here i am. i tried to hug her and she denied me,tellin me she had to brush her teeth. at this point was like great,i fucked up again. god i'm a retard. after her tooth brushing, she walked in and kissed me. it felt like she put my heart back, and it had been refilled, filled with everything that i lost. faith, pride, honer, loyalty, TRUST, and love! full again i am,loves it. thank you!

aj